Almost two weeks since I last posted anything here. It may not mean much to anyone else, especially since I don’t exactly have a bajillion followers out there, hanging on my every word.
For me, however, it’s a big deal that I haven’t been writing and it’s always indicative of other things happening in my life.
This time specifically, it’s because I’ve been really sick. Started on a Tuesday where I woke up with a throat so sore I could hardly swallow and glands so swollen, it looked like a goiter!
Antibiotics and being ridiculously weak and ill for a couple of days and then I went and overdid it at work with corporate management training and, lo and behold, another Tuesday and another strep throat. Second one was worse! Second course of antibiotics, two days of barely being able to speak and just feeling so low on energy.
Of course the negative self-talk started!
Why do we beat ourselves up so badly? Why do we deny ourselves the love and nurturing and empathy that we give away freely to others?
Always do your best!
From The Four Agreements
Fortunately, I am a dedicated believer in and student of “the four agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz.
The fourth agreement requires that you always do your best and that you understand and acknowledge that your “best” will vary, depending on many factors – including your health. However, if you always do your best under the circumstances, you have nothing to beat yourself up over and nothing to regret.
So, yes, I didn’t write. I didn’t do much of anything and I felt awful about being so unproductive. But then I remember the four agreements and I look at the situation from the perspective of illness and needing to rest and recover. And I can’t beat myself up over it.
And quite frankly, you should take this advice and apply it to yourself, right now.
I know how hard we all are on ourselves. Part of it is because of how we were raised and the expectations others have of us. Part of it is because of all the pressure we put on ourselves to do more and do better and just be ‘perfect’. The reality is, that there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ and we are chasing shadows and holding onto ghosts instead of just being as kind to ourselves as we would be to others.
My challenge for you (and for me) is to love yourself in sickness and in health.
Cut yourself some slack and realize that your ‘best’ is going to vary and it is totally 100% ok to not be at 100% in all areas of your life, all of the time.
The world needs you right now, just the way you are. You shine a light that nobody else has. You bring warmth to the lives of those who love you. You are enough!